Rays of Sun and Reality
I wake up at 9:30, flop over, consider jumping out of bed, but drift back into dream before I can move. I'm back in the arms of a girl with a smile and sweet words that slip in my ear and fill my heart. But she soon floats out of my mind, replaced by rays of sun and reality. I cling to my bed, unwilling to face the day.
Finally I make it downstairs, brew up some coffee and roll a cigarette. Outside, with my cup and smoke, my mind is flighty, jumping from one stressful thought to another- I need to sign up for the GRE- I need to call the library- am I lonely?- then I catch myself- pause- take a long drag, and exhale slowly.
I did sign up for the GRE today- I'll be taking it mid-December. Once I take the test, I'll be able to apply to a graduate school for a Library Science degree, if I so choose.
Unfortunately I did not call the library to inquire about volunteer opportunities today. I could detail my reasons for not calling, but if I'm honest with myself, they are really only excuses, and not very compelling ones at that. I still feel positive about it though- it's as if I peered over the edge today, and although I backed off, I'm that much closer to making the jump.
It seems pretty lame that I'm making such a big deal about something as simple as going to volunteer at the public library, but what can I do? In some ways it is a significant step for me, and I've always been one to look before I leap... oh well.
Finally I make it downstairs, brew up some coffee and roll a cigarette. Outside, with my cup and smoke, my mind is flighty, jumping from one stressful thought to another- I need to sign up for the GRE- I need to call the library- am I lonely?- then I catch myself- pause- take a long drag, and exhale slowly.
I did sign up for the GRE today- I'll be taking it mid-December. Once I take the test, I'll be able to apply to a graduate school for a Library Science degree, if I so choose.
Unfortunately I did not call the library to inquire about volunteer opportunities today. I could detail my reasons for not calling, but if I'm honest with myself, they are really only excuses, and not very compelling ones at that. I still feel positive about it though- it's as if I peered over the edge today, and although I backed off, I'm that much closer to making the jump.
It seems pretty lame that I'm making such a big deal about something as simple as going to volunteer at the public library, but what can I do? In some ways it is a significant step for me, and I've always been one to look before I leap... oh well.
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