As the Snow Falls...

It is snowing, and it is coming down hard. I was standing outside looking out at the backyard, smoking a cigarette, and listening to the falling snow hitting the trees and the ground. It makes a peaceful sound like thousands of tiny fairies lightly tap-dancing all at once. I feel fortunate that I do not have to go anywhere; I can enjoy the snow without worrying about driving in it.

Now that I do not have to expend energy preparing for the GRE anymore, I feel this would be a good time for me to get serious about dealing with my unhealthy relationship to food. To put it lightly, I have a serious snacking problem; I overeat on a daily basis, and I have not been able to stop myself.

So tonight I pulled out a book that I had purchased from Amazon a few weeks ago called The Overeater's Journal: Exercises for the Heart, Mind and Soul. It is full of journaling exercises to aid in recovery. Divided into three main sections, it addresses the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual aspects of addiction. It is based on the premise that through writing one can start to come to terms with their problem and gain self awareness on the way to recovery. The first exercise is creating a meal plan for the day, and then recording what you actually end up eating.

Part of me does not want to do this and would rather maintain the status quo. That part of me likes overeating.

The other part of me sensed a spark of hope- the possibility of no longer being at the mercy of my desires for food.

We'll see what happens. Either way, I feel I am one step closer to confronting my problem with compulsive overeating.